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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Between Cupid And The Devil- Will Kingfisher Survive?

It’s all about the color RED! oops I mean KingFissured!

Red is hot and red is strong, but how on earth does one plan to cut a Rs. 6000 crore debt? We have all heard the chairman insisting that within a jiffy, his airline would be back on track? It’s taken off into one crisis after another, including with the DGCA, non payment of salaries and lots of dues besides improper erratic schedules plaguing Kingfisher. Is it all about the colour Red?

The carrier surely must not be surprised to see another exodus. It has also started defaulting salaries, I’m told by a couple for friends who work in the airline. Some say there are issues within the top management. There is barely anyone who interacts or even boosts the sagging morale of these employees. Ill timed decisions, overt flamboyance and maybe even a flawed business model, have reduced the glory in red to a wingless bird without flight soaked in the blood of its unforeseen injuries.

Now was that a Boutique airline to customers? Was the concept Yachts with wings? The precincts remained Red. Many such concepts were flying across meeting tables and accordingly being translated into action! After all maybe an ill conceived concept , that ensured that in spite of 80-90 % carriage the red airline barely made any profits.

The merger with Air Deccan also backfired, somewhere in 2008. Around Rs.550 crores were spent on Air Deccan for operations to start under the brand name Kingfisher Red! The rebranding seemed a huge flop to me. Many ill informed passengers assumed that the service would be just the one on board the boutique carriers so ably designed by Mr Mallya himself. It sure felt well when he welcomed us on board saying each one of us was his personal “guest” on board. It almost felt like our own private carrier. Was it about the word Red?

The IT department have frozen all the accounts from when I last read..oops did I say red?

Is there hope of revival? Is Rs.2000 crores from SBI down the drain? Or could that be brought back and be trained again to fly? I am also told that about 40-50%of the pilots have quit, so like the blue airways that currently Jets across the skies, would it from be trainees who land us onto the tarmac? The inimitable dad and son combo however, believe that the problems of the red air are surmountable. Importing jet fuel seems a cruel joke and FDI in carriers cannot surely be the only panacea for an ailing airline. Just recently three dozen flights all over the country were cancelled. At many airports I did see the plight of all the passengers whose entire travel plans went haywire sometimes.

The government surely would not bail the red airlines out. It is going to be one turbulent flight. The feel at home “guests” currently feel very threatened by the choppy rides. The aviation sector as a whole is reeling under lots of issues. The best option would be to cut down, revamp and work out better plans for the future. Our honorable Minister for Civil Aviation, Shri Ajit Singh says he has allowed for foreign airlines to invest up to 49%in India. Passengers would only continue to grow. Mr. Singh seems very confident of conquering the skies! 

The color Red always has always indicated Stop! Maybe a range of seemingly conflicting emotions of love, lust,rage, violence and warfare!

Would this time around sighting a Kingfisher in the skies be rare? Surely, hope not!

Red is the color of happiness and prosperity in China, and may be used to attract good luck….why not just this time,Cupid win the battle! Could Red mean start all over again? 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

“The Indian Penile Code” IPC

Why Do We Need Clothes When The World is Full of Naked Kings !

A friend once told me “If we believe in our Democratic Processes, we shouldn't crib about a terrorist trying to take advantage of our legal system of appeal. He, as an accused under Indian Criminal Laws, has a right to appeal up to the Supreme Court of India and we should prepare for that too.”

I have every right to crib about the Indian Penile Code.

Rape, prostitution and pornography have existed since ages. The first one is about aggression, the second about soliciting and the last one a relatively new development after the Kodak camera!

With more politically erect men, in the driver’s seat, we may have to soon pass the “Women’s Preservation Pill!” It’s not the man per se having the power….A vast majority of public figures quoted in tawdry sex scandals have been men…maybe a reason why not many women don power in politics!

Sexual addiction has affected some of the most noted figures in television, politics and entertainment. The irony of the examples of Berlusconi, Bill Clinton and the X files lead, David Duchovny are just a few examples of problems of sexual addiction manifesting in men of power.

Former FBI Director, J. Edgar Hoover, has been exposed in a new book by Darwin Porter. It’s surely worth the read. Hoover had secret pornographic films and nude photos of young stars such as Frank Sinatra. Hoover claimed he was a heterosexual, but never married and lived his entire life with male FBI agent Clyde Tolson. The book states Hoover also had photos of naked men with large penises hanging on his bathroom walls. Straight men do not do any of those things. He was also caught wearing a pink dress, in a story that has lived in infamy.

Most people are an abomination with no respect for the law or privacy. Sadly, some of the people in power of today are no better, as they spy on people in their homes via audio and video means such as phone hacking, wiretapping, hidden cameras, infrared and secretly turning on the webcam on people's computers.

The first citizen of Andhra Pradesh, Governor and veteran congress leader, 85 year old Mr Undie Tiwari was caught into a major sleazy sex scandal in Raj Bhavan in Hyderabad. He was caught red handed while involving himself with young women in sexual acts at Raj Bhavan by hiring girls from brothels. ABN Andhra Jyothi channel has showed exclusive footage captured on Spy cameras. Andhra Pradesh Police is said to have rounded the TV channel Andhra Jyothi to force them not show any footage of the sexual acts of Tiwari. The TV channel also received a High Court order from principal secretary saying that it should stop telecasting the story on the governor immediately.

The Indian Penile Code has excused a political veteran for his galloping prostate! And instead warned the channel against broadcasting the clip! We are truly proud of this Gene Seeder!

People with money power and celebrity status often have poor feedback network and are invariably surrounded b people who are dependent on them for employment or security which makes them reluctant to tell their boss the truth. Certain politicians and celebrities may also feel a sense of invincibility. For others, sexual acting out maybe more similar to how most of us views speeding. We know it’s illegal and we know we are not above the law, but we don’t necessarily think we will ever get caught.

Smart attractive powerful people can and occasionally do have empty emotional lives. There are certain people who always are in the spotlight like our very own Mr Abhisex Stingwee. He surely enjoys the consistent attention and validation from media especially Mr Doorknob Goslam-me. In the process of being the party’s Poke- person, Mr Stingwee might have had this serious need to be seen and validated over and over again. Sexual escapades allows such people a release of intense pent up emotions and allow them all the attention they so badly desire and can privately get. They rely mostly on external validation.

Some people are mentally ill, sexually dysfunctional, perverted voyeurs who spend time secretly spying on people for sexual kicks. Can we imagine a Driver burning a CD? Singhvi claimed the driver existed but such a CD did not or if it does, it is clearly and obviously morphed, fabricated and forged! Mr Stingwee claimed that such a CD either does not exist or if it does, it is clearly and obviously morphed, fabricated and forged. Woo... A driver that could do all of this? Wow! I would kill to find such a literate man behind the wheels! I mean in control!

This scandal indicates total abuse of power. Real power for Mr Stingwee comes with money. It is money that most often causes infidelity and or sexual opportunity. The Congressman had the illusion of powers but only the very rich get away with it and keeps the other quiet with a gravy train.

In politics, the dust generated by sex scandals is much more than the sweat due to hard work!

Why do the people in offices of power play the resignation drama? The illness drama? Why do the Party heads praise Ministers/Governors/SeniorPartyMembers and Pokes Persons for their blatant indulgence and defend them?? Why this dishonesty and hypocrisy? How come rarely and conveniently any punishment is meted out? Why does the law works in different ways for such immoral corrupt infidels resting cooly in their banana hammocks?

The Police investigations against those in sex scandals have almost always been a farce!
The Indian Penile Code would continue! Oops did I say Continue…

In the words of the Honorable Mr Abhisex Stingwee,“The pen-is mightier than the law-and easier to screw with!” Three cheers to the National Pokes Person! May he safeguard the Indian Penile Code? Time to set things straight! Oops did I say Straight?