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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Crap Trap

A poll conducted recently concluded that when you sit on the potty , both feet are evenly placed=33.33%, left foot is ahead of right=6.67%, right foot is ahead of left=13.33%, almost rarely both feet up in air!

Yesterday the country and TV Channels were abuzz with a new LOOk was discussed countrywide…mouth wide open and hesitating to crap! Thanks to MontekStink AaahLOOwalia!

Some Facts Before We Decide on this CRAP:
LOOk before You LOOt!
  • The top three richest people in the world possess more financial assets than the combined assets of the poorest 10% of the world! If we take the current the world population as 7 billion, we have 3 richest people holding wealth more than 70 crore of poor people in the world! 
  • Today we live in a world where 25000 people die of starvation every day. Thus in a period of two years, the number of casualties due to hunger related ailments is equivalent to the population of the city of New York! And in the same world a new billionaire is created every alternate day. Are we LOOsing track of reality? 
  • IPL is the second highest-paid league in the world, second only to the NBA in the US. It is estimated that the average salary of an IPL player over a year would be $3.95 `million, which is approximately 20 crore Indian Rupees. It means he earns 5.5 lacs a day….. Less than 32 rupees a day and 5.5 lacs a day?
  • What does it mean to be below the poverty line? It means that your earning is less than or equal to 32 rupees a day! If you go to Park Square mall in Bangalore, for one hour parking you pay 30 rupees! LOOting people? 
  • In India, 37percent of the people are below poverty line that means 444 million people, which is larger than the population of United States. 40% of the Indian villages still remain without electricity, which means 240000 villages! LOOming darkness? 
Munificent expenditure by a body that designs India's economic blueprint - its five year plans - and which had controversially said that Indians who spend more than Rs. 32 a day in cities are above the poverty line? 
Imagine a Smart Card to Crap! Real VIP Crap!
35 lakhs on renovating two toilets at its offices in Delhi? Of the Rs 35 lakh spent by the Commission renovating two toilets at Yojana Bhawan, Rs 5.19 lakh were spent on a “door access control system”, which allows only 60 “very high dignitaries” provided with smart cards to use these international airport-grade restrooms. What shit was that? Shit casteism? - Very high dignitaries with very “low” intent?

The planning commission surely has one standard for the poor and another for the rich!

There is a popular reformist LOOkalike Baba who suggests "Mukta Pavaan Aasan" to combat this lavish excretion of the country’s natural human resources! Of course in "man made" exorbitant Crap Traps! Guess it's all in the name Ahhhh...LOOwalia!

Maybe its time for MontekStink to join NASA…Some gas and a nice flame with both feet in the air, and he will be in perfect lift off position!

He will be able to prove that men can fly! Perfect Crap for 35 lakhs!.....LOOsers!
Hope at least one day, we see an Angry Surd running out from these 2 toilets screaming "Eureka" to solve the problem of Poverty of India! Jai Hind!