Popular Posts

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Hey ADAM! Strong Women are Here to Stay!



 I have been hearing it for ages, but of late, it has become an ECHO following me around!
Be Either a Strong Woman or a Good Woman!

A majority of the men do find it very hard to cope up with strong, assertive, talented women at their workplace. They seem to them as domain intruders in the corridors of work, foreign bodies in the system of life and an invader of their own territory.Even if a woman is an achiever or accomplishes, they attribute it to the attention they get from men bosses by virtue of which they got promoted. 

This is a great question. And the unfortunate news is that, yes, some men are terrified of strong, talented women. Now what is it that rips through a man’s heart when he sees a strong woman enough to label her “impossible to get along” “never ever listens” and “good woman but arrogant”!

All across the world it is almost like some gift if ever a woman attains equal footing either personally or professionally. Very few strong women make it to the top, whilst a large majority falls by the wayside. So now is this a gender face-off or a gender-bias?

 Even amongst men leaders,very few get along as they are very domain oriented Alpha males; one can just imagine an Alpha female coming along! The whole domain war intensifies and end result is that women feel challenged and diminished. Guess most women are assumed to grow against opposition, because we are so naturally good at overcoming challenges.

Sometimes I have heard reports of these turf wars becoming dirty, petty and unbearable! Frustration sets in because of unfulfilled ambitions, organizational politics and worst of all- unrealized dreams.
Just because the potential of an able woman remains untapped …just because she is a woman?

 I have personally been the victim of being feared and hence pulled own just because being “honest” was considered as being “no pliable” and “non compliant” .Deficient people in power, men/women lack  self esteem and confidence, hence  repeatedly attack persons with “integrity” They take pot shots mostly at women since the emotional and moral component seems more vulnerable. 

My personal experience suggests it is all about one’s own psyche. Seen enough men and women  both of who are tramps, deficient in confidence and ability…hence attack becomes the best form of defense for them! Insecurity governs what the deficient believe is a way to usurp “power”…maybe the masculine “dominance” “strength” is assumed to be a virtue and the very same in women a “demerit”…how sad a standard of scale is that?

There is a fine line between strong willed and bossy, arrogant, self-centered, and controlling. A man or a woman does want to necessarily control or dominate, but neither does he/she want to be controlled and dominated. He /she doesn’t want to feel like they are butting heads all of the time. 

Strong people, independent people don’t need to tell you they’re strong or independent! We must never feel redundant or unnecessary either at home or work. Cheers to people… both men and women in power who know navigating organizational politics means:
I don’t need to control
I have nothing to prove 
I am whole and fulfilled because I live by my own standards


In a world reigned by a challenged man stomping on a strong woman’s virtues to validate his own worth, may the tribe of Alpha Females grow and  lead lives of Independence and Competence.

42 comments:

  1. I agree. Good Views....Very Aptly Put and worded...By ..Viveck Vaidya...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Viveck for coming By!
      truly means a Lot to me!

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the people like Raja Ram Mohan Roy and Ravi verma who depicted the indian women in the right diaspora. We were equals from the vedic period till the time of Hindu revival moments when the facts were redefined to accommodate the interest of few and thus evolve the concepts of caste & the status of the women. She was corned and traded like a commodity, thus ending the respect and honour she deserves from the time immemorial.
      Now asking for reservation in any way will hurt the status of the women proving that there is a physical and a mental level which is far against the goal of " women empowerment".

      Delete
    3. Hey Pal

      Thank you for coming by.
      Yeah Women are thought to be all accommodating! so bear and tolerate it all!
      Thank goodness times are changing!

      Yes am not at all for "reservation" somehow the word itself generates "weakness"

      Loads of good wishes

      Delete
  2. inspite of all this 'being equal' ..... women empowerment ..... i really hate the ' take of men on female liberation !
    Sometimes i feel sad to see females not trusting themselves ..... n commodify them selves , sexually .... to feel empowered !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. this lack of self-turst and self confidence leads to the age old comprise situations. this further snowballs into making the whole community biased.

      Delete
    2. Anurita

      People label all kinds of things like "Feminist" etc but finally it is all about Psychology! Men have been in control since ages!
      Women Achievers are mostly discounted! Yes really sad some females barely trust themselves and lean too heavily on!

      Thank you for sharing...Keep coming by!
      Loads of good wishes

      Delete
  3. Totally agree on what you say and also would like to add thar its a changing world and an AlphaMale has accepted this too. Women are much smarter, tech savy and multi taskers! Technology and social presence on networking sites have added a lot to their confidence. Thankfully I have never faced such politics at work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sunita

      Hey! Thank you for coming by!
      Glad that you have not been a victim!
      Politics at the office is a new killer diagnosed earlier the better!

      Loads of love and good wishes

      Delete
  4. Strong willed women have always stayed. There is nothing new about it.

    I do find the statement 'Be Either a Strong Woman or a Good Woman!" a deeply limiting belief. Who believes so?
    We all have known many strong and good women around, and it could never be a question of good vs strong.

    Some men are terrified by strong, talented women, and so are many women, around her. Isn't it?

    I personally do not think that men have any reason to be scared of strong willed, talented women, in personal and professional fields.

    Somewhere, I do see that more women are scared of strong and talented women. The acceptance of such wonderful women, amongst women is less than as much as it should have been.
    What might be worrying concern is the conflict women carry amongst themselves, pulling each other down so many times, ( and many a times taking help of some men ).



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Ashish

      Thank you very much for coming by and taking two minutes to share your views!

      I have interviewed atleast a thousand corporates in the last one month and guess what most women told me ""We feel the constant pressure to never make a mistake, and to continually prove our value to the organization.”

      Some extreme "perceptions" do govern some Bosses! One of them being
      "Women are perceived as too soft or too tough but never just right!"

      So not a belief system! An experience indicates perception!

      Another major problem is the High Competence Thresh hold where"
      Women Leaders face higher standards and lower rewards than Men Leaders!

      It works in many ways! Multidiamensional One finds a Great Man and sometimes a Not so Great Woman too! Nothing to do just with the "gender"...just a Mindset!

      Loads of good wishes

      Delete
    2. :) The stronger the women in any unit, the stabler the setup. Be it anywhere.

      I personally prefer the way women work in organisations, except for certain traits that I do not fully understand.

      I would surely like to read more from you, and it would be great balancing act to see you researching and writing about the women vs women in professional circles also. :) Looking forward.

      Delete
    3. Hey Ashish

      Sure!...Lemme see if I can host a debate on this raging but not much spoken about topic in the corporate circles!

      Thanks again and your sharing means tons ...so keep coming by!

      Delete
  5. Dear Ushy,
    Nicely written.
    But I feel that only men with low self-esteem and inferiority complex are scared of "alpha females"
    Confident men can easily get along with all women.
    Regards
    Vikram

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Vikram

      It means tons to have a few words from Friends.
      Written simply quickly and direct dilse!

      Yes it is surely what I am saying That it is all a lot about "self-esteem" and not too much the hooha being made of Gender etc!

      Do keep coming by...Thanku and good wishes

      Delete
  6. GENDER STEREOTYPES MISREPRESENT the true talents of Women Leaders and can potentially undermine women’s contributions to organizations as well as their own advancement options!

    This is what I have felt after training and interacting with a lot of women members who work for large Multinationals Globally!

    Please do share all your views!

    lots of regards
    Ushy

    ReplyDelete
  7. its all gender bias ingrained in male - jealousy - and they will put all obbstacles to stop women from rising - fill give all excuses - as usual at your best in writing this article .more power to ladies like u

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Sk

      Thank you so much.
      Your appreciation means much!

      Not just in male but the same envy sometimes in women too!
      But guess with proper Mind Coaching it is finally a thing up there one needs to conquer!

      Loads of good wishes

      Delete
  8. As much as a strong n alpha female is a great value addition 2d workplace,,,,, women or men wid a delusion of being strong esp wen dey re at d top only coz of number of years rather than actual merits end up as a disater to d psyche n organisation , in an attempt to exert their control over d sub ordinates.

    P.S ,,, no point being labelled ALPHA if dy cant inspire their sub ordinates or fathom a difference in opinion as genuine n a pinch of constructive criticism..... coz a truly alpha , n strong independent women wouldnt get boged down by a few jealous bigots or genuine critics

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Guru

      Yeah surely agree!
      Being strong is surely different from feeling strong!

      Most women do get bogged down and find it difficult to cope....That was the point I was trying to get across!....in most of the hierarchy it is positional power one aspires for and I dream of the day when true merit and competency stands to gain!

      Loads of gratitude for the sharing.Do keep coming by!

      Delete
  9. Hey Ushy, at your best as always :)

    I agree. Man finds it difficult to fuctioin under a woman when it comes to signifying the combination of interaction of social and economic factors. Public "ego" inhibits a Man to rejoice, extol and applaud the excellence and superiority of Woman in a projected plot, event or work. The physical superiority of Man overrules the mental superiority of Woman (of course not all). Why I specified *Public Ego* is because ultimately, Man in a bedroom with a Woman is at her ultimate control where, strangely, Man does not find his Ego inhibiting his physical superiority!

    Quote:

    Hinduism holds that masculinity and femininity are intrinsic and complementary qualities, not merely products of social influence. The value of womanhood is expressed in many features of Hinduism, such as the respect it gives to motherhood, the many goddesses, and the practice of calling India "the Motherland."

    Unquote:
    Gender Equality is manifest in creation. It is over a period of time that the virtues of womanhood and the essential role of woman in society that began to emerge as a male dominant imperative. I guess it is a part of the evolution of knowledge that breaks this social stigma. Though still profound in several parts of the world, there certainly is considerable progress towards being recognized as equal from the superior / inferior concept!

    Let me conclude on a lighter note :)

    **What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow!**

    Hail Ushy :) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Prash

      Always so good to hear your opinion!
      Adds tremendous value to the Blog!

      Mother tongue...Motherland....and a whole load of terminologies but the hard core ingrained belief is one that has polality indefinable depth unfathomable and a bias unmeasurable!

      Surely would live to see the days change!
      Cheers! and thanku for coming by!

      Delete
  10. People will have different opinions on the basis of what they see/hear or experience. So People react in different ways to same situation depending on their brought up/ social/educational back ground and also whether they are from a rural/urban area.
    Also we dont think the same way as we did 5 years ago. Mental maturity also matters
    Person from a coeducational school/college handles much better than otherwise.
    I have had mostly females as by HOD/Seniors/colleagues during postgraduation. We admired people for their ability/character & virtues.
    but i do differentiate on the basis of Honesty/sincerity/friendliness/team spirit/being ethical and above all whether one is Greedy and selfish. I always keep away from greedy/selfish ones Male or Female
    Anyone can get along well with a Boss (Male or Female) who is friendly & helpful.
    Finally Sex differentiation is only for the body and not for souls. Hinduism says we are not the body & we are souls. When we know this Male/Female does not matter

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Pradeep

      Thank you for coming by and sharing your views.
      In future i am sure it would be a competency based world!

      Loads of good wishes

      Delete
  11. Dil se written. When the person is competent, the bias generally gets washed away, after the initial boob staring prejudice. That is my personal experience :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Keshda

      Thank you for coming by and sharing!
      It means a lot to me!

      Loads of good wishes!

      Delete
  12. Strong and successful women are here to stay.Education has made them economically independent and confidant

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Chowta

      Yes to a great extent Education has liberated women.
      But how far does the society allow it to sustain...it's truly a good question.
      Financially even today women are considered for certain roles only..especially in India.

      Hope this changes soon.
      Thank you again fos sharing a few lines!

      Delete
  13. Makes a lot of sense. Well written!! We need to inculcate children is school with what is right and wrong. Think we need a complete rework of our education system.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Ram

      Thank you for coming by and sharing.
      Appreciate your kind words.
      Yes awareness and empowerment right from childhood works WONDERS!

      Hope to see a society which is woman friendly in the near future!

      Delete
  14. Excellent Article ,
    The whole concept of Alpha Male or Alpha female , its elf is wrong . We ought to respect each others flaws n perfections. What bother's me is that in name of Alpha we have become dominating , in name of freedom we have become arrogant . Y this arrogance from both the sexes ??
    We should understand that both the sexes r EQUAL . without both , infact if importance have to be given , it should be given to females. The effort put in by female in the modern society esp in India is tremendous. Can you expect our society to grown with out active participation from females ? if not , then y not give them the due respect ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Varun

      Arrogance? or you mean Assertion?
      Thank you an surely value and appreciate your thoughts too!

      Good to see ya coming by and sharing! Varun
      Thank you a ton!

      Delete
  15. True! It is a process of evolution itself! It is inevitable... good article ma'am :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Nice to see a Smile come by!
      Thank you fo sharing!
      Keep coming by.

      YES it is slowly evolution and mostly genetic gender make up! ;-)

      Delete
  16. Totally agree ushy..Its a competitive world and thats how one should see it and just work hard be it man or woman..no discrimination based on gender and work and put ur effort on it should be the aim rather

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Sang

      Yes Only merit and competency must warrant rewards!
      Wish people could just shut themselves OFF from this Bias which does exist in some Minds!

      Thank you for coming by and sharing!
      Loads of good wishes

      Delete
  17. nicely written ! must must & mast mast read !!... keep witting Ushyji....... @_Aniket

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awesome to see you come by Aniket!
      Thank you and your good words keep me motivated to keep writing on!

      Loads of good wishes

      Ushy

      Delete
  18. As my brother says "this is the problem of chromosome"; Lets accept the fact the the DNA of male and female has a specific structure. The fact has been overridden by so called "culture" and "history" of not accepting the talented. I have used the word "Talented". There is a big difference between "Strong" and "Talented".

    It is the capacity of the talented women to make people "happy". Personally, I would definitely work with people who are cooperative to get things moving. This is the happiness. Does not matter whether it is men or women.

    As you have said, the "whole and fulfilled" will always look for cooperative way to doing things. A good food of thought...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Be Either a Strong Woman or a Good Woman! - Be a good human being first and teach others how to be a good human being. This will enable everyone to be a good human being; Woman can be the first to transform herself and others. But the transformation must be spontaneous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Hariharan for sharing! Means a lot to me.
      As you have said, the "whole and fulfilled" will always look for cooperative way to doing things. A good food of thought... Yes this is the way Forward

      Loads of good wishes!

      Delete
  20. When people ask me about my experience studying abroad in India, I always face the same dilemma. How does one convey the contradiction that over the past few months has torn my life apart, and convey it in a single succinct sentence?



    “India was wonderful," I go with, "but extremely dangerous for women.” Part of me dreads the follow-up questions, and part of me hopes for more. I'm torn between believing in the efficacy of truth, and being wary of how much truth people want.


    This ARTICLE has pained me much.....Could this even be TRUE?
    GOSH...what if it is?

    http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1023053

    ReplyDelete