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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

“The Indian Penile Code” IPC

Why Do We Need Clothes When The World is Full of Naked Kings !

A friend once told me “If we believe in our Democratic Processes, we shouldn't crib about a terrorist trying to take advantage of our legal system of appeal. He, as an accused under Indian Criminal Laws, has a right to appeal up to the Supreme Court of India and we should prepare for that too.”

I have every right to crib about the Indian Penile Code.

Rape, prostitution and pornography have existed since ages. The first one is about aggression, the second about soliciting and the last one a relatively new development after the Kodak camera!

With more politically erect men, in the driver’s seat, we may have to soon pass the “Women’s Preservation Pill!” It’s not the man per se having the power….A vast majority of public figures quoted in tawdry sex scandals have been men…maybe a reason why not many women don power in politics!

Sexual addiction has affected some of the most noted figures in television, politics and entertainment. The irony of the examples of Berlusconi, Bill Clinton and the X files lead, David Duchovny are just a few examples of problems of sexual addiction manifesting in men of power.

Former FBI Director, J. Edgar Hoover, has been exposed in a new book by Darwin Porter. It’s surely worth the read. Hoover had secret pornographic films and nude photos of young stars such as Frank Sinatra. Hoover claimed he was a heterosexual, but never married and lived his entire life with male FBI agent Clyde Tolson. The book states Hoover also had photos of naked men with large penises hanging on his bathroom walls. Straight men do not do any of those things. He was also caught wearing a pink dress, in a story that has lived in infamy.

Most people are an abomination with no respect for the law or privacy. Sadly, some of the people in power of today are no better, as they spy on people in their homes via audio and video means such as phone hacking, wiretapping, hidden cameras, infrared and secretly turning on the webcam on people's computers.

The first citizen of Andhra Pradesh, Governor and veteran congress leader, 85 year old Mr Undie Tiwari was caught into a major sleazy sex scandal in Raj Bhavan in Hyderabad. He was caught red handed while involving himself with young women in sexual acts at Raj Bhavan by hiring girls from brothels. ABN Andhra Jyothi channel has showed exclusive footage captured on Spy cameras. Andhra Pradesh Police is said to have rounded the TV channel Andhra Jyothi to force them not show any footage of the sexual acts of Tiwari. The TV channel also received a High Court order from principal secretary saying that it should stop telecasting the story on the governor immediately.

The Indian Penile Code has excused a political veteran for his galloping prostate! And instead warned the channel against broadcasting the clip! We are truly proud of this Gene Seeder!

People with money power and celebrity status often have poor feedback network and are invariably surrounded b people who are dependent on them for employment or security which makes them reluctant to tell their boss the truth. Certain politicians and celebrities may also feel a sense of invincibility. For others, sexual acting out maybe more similar to how most of us views speeding. We know it’s illegal and we know we are not above the law, but we don’t necessarily think we will ever get caught.

Smart attractive powerful people can and occasionally do have empty emotional lives. There are certain people who always are in the spotlight like our very own Mr Abhisex Stingwee. He surely enjoys the consistent attention and validation from media especially Mr Doorknob Goslam-me. In the process of being the party’s Poke- person, Mr Stingwee might have had this serious need to be seen and validated over and over again. Sexual escapades allows such people a release of intense pent up emotions and allow them all the attention they so badly desire and can privately get. They rely mostly on external validation.

Some people are mentally ill, sexually dysfunctional, perverted voyeurs who spend time secretly spying on people for sexual kicks. Can we imagine a Driver burning a CD? Singhvi claimed the driver existed but such a CD did not or if it does, it is clearly and obviously morphed, fabricated and forged! Mr Stingwee claimed that such a CD either does not exist or if it does, it is clearly and obviously morphed, fabricated and forged. Woo... A driver that could do all of this? Wow! I would kill to find such a literate man behind the wheels! I mean in control!

This scandal indicates total abuse of power. Real power for Mr Stingwee comes with money. It is money that most often causes infidelity and or sexual opportunity. The Congressman had the illusion of powers but only the very rich get away with it and keeps the other quiet with a gravy train.

In politics, the dust generated by sex scandals is much more than the sweat due to hard work!

Why do the people in offices of power play the resignation drama? The illness drama? Why do the Party heads praise Ministers/Governors/SeniorPartyMembers and Pokes Persons for their blatant indulgence and defend them?? Why this dishonesty and hypocrisy? How come rarely and conveniently any punishment is meted out? Why does the law works in different ways for such immoral corrupt infidels resting cooly in their banana hammocks?

The Police investigations against those in sex scandals have almost always been a farce!
The Indian Penile Code would continue! Oops did I say Continue…

In the words of the Honorable Mr Abhisex Stingwee,“The pen-is mightier than the law-and easier to screw with!” Three cheers to the National Pokes Person! May he safeguard the Indian Penile Code? Time to set things straight! Oops did I say Straight?


  1. if the CD is morphed then why a restraint order...m sure many other ppl in power hav similar secrets to hide...i hope their drivers are reading ur blog

    1. Hi Journo

      Yeah I am sure it's a very tech savvy Driver and surely a very literate one too!

      thank you for sharing!


  2. when caught with pants down this baldy singhvi blaming on driver.dilli durbar must be having more sex scandals for sure.this lutyens resembles rome of caligula.where all sorts of orgies was the order of the day

    1. Hi SK

      Yeah Caligula is the rt word...The Indian horny male version! And then they say people morphed and framed etc...they give themselves too much importance at the end of the day.

      Being lawyers they manipulate the law unto themselves and their sleazy stock!

      Gratitude for sharing
      Lots of wishes

  3. Its not about the high profile lawyer spokes persons perverted acts, its about the judicial system also getting caught in casting couch. If the issue is really true then we need to worry more. People in judiciary getting promoted through sexual favors is the last thing this nation needs.

    1. Hi Gnosis

      You hit the nail straight on the head!
      Imagine a couch for the judicial positions!
      What has become of this lovely land....It's SAD

      It is being grilled roasted dried and fried by pricks such as this fellow and the hapless citizens just watch!

      Thank you for stopping by!
      Lots of good wishes

  4. Hahah...truly, only Mataji can pen this with the mock,pun and gravity the subject highlighted here infuses. Yes, sex has become synonymous with the political class now. They lead the pack of *defaulters*, if one may want to call them thus, others being religious stalwarts, celebrities, bureaucrats so on and so forth.

    If you look at the chronology of sex scandals having box office successes in India, they mostly belong to the Congress. Is is a rare coincidence? I don't have any justification to that, honestly. However,what is imperative to note here is that exploitation has happened when exorbitant power has been with them. The power of politics augmented by the power of wealth it essentially generates has impregnated their minds (and the womb in some cases!).

    The excuses Abishek Manu Singhvi, which perhaps prompted you to pen this blog, laments about is the usual rhetoric expected of an accused. However, here his actions thereafter gives scope to more of a possibility of the scandal than not! His abstinence from public eye, his hurried approach to the court for blanket protection of events, Court's unusual reprimand to the visual medias, PaidMedia's stoic silence and deliberate disregard for the sensational news et al, all points out to his "Guilt"!

    Well, for once, our Drivers will earn some credible respect, that's for sure. And, most of them deserve it as is in the case of AMS!

    Hey Mataji, as always, at your very best is not the compliment I can think of giving. Here's a hug for some beautifully humorous yet matter of fact writing.

    1. Hi Prash

      Missed all your comments thus far! I mean the sabbatical that you took! it kinda reduced my motivation to write!

      Thank you once again for sharing lovely words of wisdom! If one can sleep one's way into positions imagine the plight of the people who really can't!
      What kinda judiciary we have where people can literally bend over for a few stringy benefits!

      Literally kinky to get going!

      Once again Thank you Prash


  5. Ha ha ha! As silly as excuses that Abhishek Manu Singhvi dished out, this blog is exactly the opposite. Hilariously presented but I see a very deep (Pun unintended) message And we also hear of favours in terms of Judicial postings/promotions for favourable judgements :( The only Institution that we common men were resting our hopes on are letting us down slowly but surely.
    Wonderful post, Ushy for this enlightening blog.

    1. Oye my dear Suresh

      Thanku Thanku Saar!

      Respect and look forward to good appreciation and feedback from Friends like you.

      Guess all the Lawyers are surely and slowly raising the BAR!...heheheeh

      Lots of good wishes

  6. Money power coupled with legal xperiencefor an asshole in politics is a lethal combination for the vulnerable to resist or comman man to fight out.Mockery of contention CD morphed etc surely he knows save this only as a limp xplanation.Ridiculous re driver angle but he has got away with a plint media & "a strange court order"
    No wonder to protect sexapades of deviant politicians like him he is incorporating SEXPAL into Lokpal so that exemption frm punitive action is automatic.
    We shd not leave it here but start a movement to make this deviant accountable for his actions & more importantly take steps to ensure Judiciary is Independent &appointments to judiciary are not made after a ROMP.
    yes let a make a beginning to make sure that The Indian Penile Code is consigned to SENILITY if not wiped out.

    Be Strong in Yr Endeavour Ushy-courage of conviction-very rightly
    lu &hugggzzzz God Bless @paramjitgarewal

    1. Dear PammyG

      Thank you so much for sharing!
      Your kind words always keep me motivated and bring me great joy
      Do keep coming back SirG

      Yeah agree WE must start lots of work together!

      Lots of regards

  7. You have a good straang phunny bone :D Sarcasm streams, with knowledge intact.


    1. Dear Keshu

      Lots of gratitude for sharing views!

      Look forward to lots more feedback from you


  8. Very smartly written, Doc!

    Truth is stranger than fiction and too much of it may not be good for our genial Janata's appetite, both alimentary and sexual. In such cases, even the media becomes the voyeur and goes by the dictum, "Pardey mein rehne do, bada dikhta hai..."

    Cheers! Enjoyed!!

    1. Oye MP my dost

      Thank you thank you.
      Longtime no see and sincerely share your opinions!
      everyone is just ending up a voyeur and people slowly getting immune to crap!

      Lots of wishes

  9. Mata Ushy But .. But .. But I support religios people like Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, DSK and Bill the Clington even Abhi Sex because .. after all tension kaise mitaye koi .. Uff kya kisiko apni zaati jindagi jeene ka bhi haq nahi???
    Haq se Haqqani Mango
    De3kho EEe humra gana aur naachbey kaa
    I'm a Flirt
    Right sincee birth
    Eyes on Skirt
    watch my girth
    O I am a
    Rap pa para pa pa

    1. My dear Venus

      It actually shows that you are from Venus!
      Wat reverence for all these humpers and pumpers!;-)

      You have the honesty to accept you love the game of chess! So happy you shared a few lines!

      Keep coming mate!
      Lots of good wishes

  10. Bhai log hum ajaad khayalon ka hoon
    oo upar humra likha aur gaya gana hai
    angrejji mein hain
    Kripaya nakal karein evam braujer maa chipkawein aur suney oo toob par
    aur haan
    bhaiyyan jo hai so agar aap ko angreji naa aawat baa
    ganwa ka bol neeche type kiya hoon
    padhein sune evam popularise karein
    Let a 1000 Nithyanands bloom
    according to Baba @Venuspeak
    Eeph yoo take part in reelijiyaas ceremoneej
    prescribed bai vedaj and kamasutra
    Humri baat theek ba Maata Ushy

    Ram Ram
    Humrey rome rrome maa sexhilly basa hai
    hum saksaat kamdev ka avataar hoon
    Jai sri Rom Com

  11. Ushy What a Smashy write up by you--needs "ON THE ROCKS" to enjoy the satire,humour &biting sarcasm for which we salute you Our Great Girlie Ji--everyday without fai U put us into uncontrollable laughter which rattles our ribs --BUT ABSOLUTE Pleasure.
    Comin back to this Rascal Stingwee & Indian Penile Code--Happy to announce that United Nations General Assembly after reading your Treatise & framing the Code by you have decided to institute an Award Named "USHY PRIZE " for Carnal Exploits & hv Called upon you to Present the First Award JOINTLY to Abhisex Stingwee & Dominic Strauss-Kahn--with the award they will be tied in chains on a nudist beach with mallaya" babes Frolicking Nude all year riound---Cheers Ushy Our Great girlie--we luv You ,sometimes hate your guts& brazeness---but let me tell you something--we just cant live without you----Cheers Take Bleess you --luvvvv& Huggggzzzzz---Paramjit Garewal