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Sunday, April 10, 2011

James Bond is Not the only one with a license to KILL!...

A pilot and a dog make an “ideal”cockpit crew!!…the pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything!!...Especially if he/she has procured a flying license from one of the so called  "Baptized by Corruption" flying schools!!!

Today after a series of exposes and news flashed in the papers, most passengers get into flights,settle down in  their seats with tension writ large on their faces! For some it maybe their maiden flight!,whereas for many they know the routines like the back of their hands.

Suddenly hear an announcement…"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."…Air passengers  by now  are used to the plastic smiles of airhostesses as they explain protocols,do dwaar aage and do dwaar piche(emergency exits)… and the baritones of captains who welcome you aboard  whilst marvelling at the temperatures outside and the crusing altitudes!...of course the  immense gratitude for having chosen to fly with their airlines inspite of the numerous choices passengers had!  What they surely didn’t literally mean earlier however was… “We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number so and so….The weather ahead looks good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and comfortable flight. Now sit back and relax....

OH, MY GOD!...he suddenly screamed…! Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back an announced " Friends, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the air hostess accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee on my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

 A passenger beside me yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine."

Today there are a new breed of fake pilots on the  loose in cockpits! It maybe their “maiden” flight!...Goodness! heard of the word “home grown terror” but have never been so close to experiencing it!

Just think of our Driving license and how tedious the procedure is of getting it was! Of course greasing of palms surely happens in some cases ,but atleast one stands a chance of crawling out of a car!

 No wonder there are propellers in aircrafts… to cool their new breed captains…because the first timer fake pilot is sweating!...goodness me I’m an atheist!...Who do I call out in case im flying on such a privileged carrier?...err God?...somehow feel closer to him whilst flying I guess! The recent scam of fake flying licenses seems like surely a license to kill!

Remember that there maybe 50 odd ways of leaving a lover but just four routes to an aircraft exit!...the only thing I could do was just to buckle my seat belt tighter!

Just then I heard an announcement on a less than perfect landing… "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." Never earlier have I heeded so much to the announcement which warned me to be sure to take all of my belongings. If I was going to leave anything, to make sure it's something they would like to have… maybe even my LIFE!!!


  1. thts really koooooooooooooool one!!!!!

  2. :D I would rather say that, there are infinite ways of exiting the Aircraft, but only a few guarantees your next flight. I was looking for that Rickshaw-Chopper to be a part of the cast :) And there is nothing much to worry for me., My God Flies. He is the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I amn saved. Hellelujah!

  3. I would go in for a high mile club quickie.. never know..

  4. Wooow this is really awesomeee
    I loved it Ushy!!